Da Skier....
Dere wuzza dyslexic young skier named Calum
Who went off ta ski in his first downhill slalom
He wuzza beginnah so he didnt fink twice
About askin' a guy ferra piece ov advice
"when ski'in' da spaces between each red flag,
do yew go zag-zig, or izzit zig-zag?"
Da guy gave a shrug, anda shake ov hiz head
"I'm a toboganist son" he said
"a toboganist? really? well that's alright....
...kin yew gimme a packet ov Marlboro Light?"
Kookery Korner
there are sauces that go with roast mutton
and sauces that go with grilled tench
but if you want a sauce
that goes with a hawse
discuss it with somebody french
Reassurance
When things you do don't seem to be quite
what you had intended
and idiots do stupid things and
get themselves commended
when things go wrong and life is hard
and nothing seems to work
when you earn naught for struggling
while some folks get paid to shirk
when life's long ladder towers above,
too big to be ascended
and every step you take is followed soon
by two descended
when lesser folks than you succeed
but your life is a flop
console yourself with knowing, friend,
that s h i t floats to the top....
